Where or where are the Boating Gods when you need them?

AHHHHHHHHHH !!! I wonder sometimes why I have cool toys when all they do is break! Why of why can’t the Boating Gods shine upon me? I just don’t understand!

We have had our boat only 4 years- and it was BRAND new when we bought it! We live in a state in which the weather is only cooperative to boaters (unless you fish or wear wetsuits) from around May-September. I work, my husband works, my daughter works, my son does not, but whatever. That only leaves weekends- so not a lot of boating time. This summer due to various reasons, we put our boat in for the first time 2 weeks ago, and then for a second time this past weekend.

We got up early on Saturday morning- what the heck that is about I’m not sure. Whatever happened to the days of sleeping late? Loaded up the boat with wakeboards and life jackets and headed out the door.

First stop- the grocery store. Gotta eat on the water. Why is that anyway? I am always twice as hungry on the water. Probably explains why Michael Phelps eats 4000 calories for breakfast. We loaded up on chips, cookies, fruit, Uncrustables (yes, we all eat them, it saves time and they’re easy to pack) soda, water and Gatorade.

Next stop- gas. Although much better than our last trip, I still ask the question. Why does gas have to be so darn expensive?

Finally, it’s off to the river! The river is much closer than the lake, so on those days when we need to be home for other commitments, ie teenage work schedules, its better to go there. Sucks when the tide is out because it makes for a much more difficult launch, but we deal okay.

With the boat launched – at low tide- we head on down the river to check out the “wakeboard run.” It’s a safety thing for me, especially when the river is low. Although my 2 teens (and Cheerleader Girl’s boyfriend) have driven me to drink on many occasions, I don’t want to deal with an accidental drowning, or big emergency room bills. That makes for a really crappy day on the river. ;) So, now we are way down river (only about 15 minutes or so). The water looks clear, no logs or stumps sticking up, water is like glass.

First up- Bud. He struggles with his wakeboard, my-oh-my how his feet have grown. Finally gets it on, jumps in the water and off we go- DOWN RIVER. Only a few minutes later the boat bogs down. My husband cuts the engine, looks at me, then says “Wonder what that was about.” Bud is pissed because he just missed his wake to wake jump only to find he is floating further DOWN RIVER. We bring him the rope, tell him oops sorry, lets try again. This time we head UP RIVER! This means the boat is going <--- this way, and the river is going ---> this way. Well, whata ya know- the freaking boat bogs down. AGAIN! GRRRRRRR!!! Now Bud is floating AWAY from the boat ---> this way!!!! And we need to go <--- this way. Fortunately the boat starts, we pick up Bud and head back UP RIVER! Unfortunately, the freaking piece of @#$%^&* boat we have used TWO @#$%^&* times this year decides to cut off every few hundred feet! So the next hour and a half consisted of travel up river, engine dies, float down river, engine starts, travel a little up river, engine dies, float some down river, engine starts, travel a little up river, repeat, we finally make it back to the dock. Loaded the boat back on the trailer, which is a huge deal if you have to CRANK it up cuz you can’t DRIVE it up. I have to give a shout out to the nice man who helped my husband! Thank you kind stranger :)

Now- every boat owner knows that your time will come when you have a “boat failure.” Its to be expected! But Helllloooo! My husband is kind of obsessive about maintenance, so we take extremely good care of this darn thing! And we have been out on our boat TWICE this year! This should just not happen!

Whoever said “A bad day on the river is better than a good day at work” is full of @#$%^&* !! They obviously have never had their boat break down! I did feel better after many Hillbilly Surprises! Hope everyone else’s weekend was a good one!